


I thought it was our time

by LadyAuroraStars



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, BUT Bell is also a knight & I feel like sometimes the fandom forgetthat, Bellarke, Clarke Griffin is human & makes mistakes, F/M, Fights, kinda sad, she is also a Queen, small bit Clexa, sometimes no one wins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 09:39:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7569241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyAuroraStars/pseuds/LadyAuroraStars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellarke. AU <br/>The complex is quiet, peaceful in the dead of the snowy night. But with one name the complex’s silence is suddenly filled with anger, and a fun night of cold noses and hand holding turns into a disaster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I thought it was our time

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I wrote this story in half an hour and it has not been seen by a beta so please forgive any grammar errors.

The hallway is dimly lit, it’s late and way past the kids bed time that live down the hall. By now Mrs. Jenkins will already be awake catching up on her soap operas, after restlessly lying in bed trying to sleep without her husband who passed away last December. Her mother and Kane will be fast asleep in bed, both working an early shift in the morning.

The complex is quiet, peaceful in the dead of the snowy night. But with one name the complex’s silence is suddenly filled with anger, and a fun night of cold noses and hand holding turns into a disaster.

They had been walking into the building, smiles on both their faces discussing Octavia’s wedding. He always walked her to her door- their prime make-out place, and often times Bellamy was snuck into the apartment and into Clarke’s room, only for Abby to meet him for coffee and an embarrassed smile.  His intention tonight was to be snuck into the apartment.

Suddenly Clarke’s phone made a dinging noise, and against her better judgment she grabs her phone out of her back pocket and opens the text. He asks her who it is and before she has time to come up with a fib, he is reading over her shoulder. Lexa’s name is at the top of the screen, her text racy and playful.

That’s how they got here, the once silent complex now filled with his angry voice, it echo’s off the tacky wallpaper of the hallway.

“Why is she texting you, Clarke?” He first asks, in a low but raging voice.

She knows he’s giving her the benefit of the doubt. He’s giving her an opportunity to say that she doesn’t know why she received that text, that she’s just as confused as he is.

She takes a deep breath, “Because we were in the middle of a conversation.” She confesses, and she’s pretty sure that she’s never seen Bellamy face as red as it is now.

“You told me that you weren’t talking to her.” He breaths out, reminding Clarke of her previous promise. “Remember that Clarke? You told me she hurt you one too many times, that you couldn’t trust her anymore. That she was dead to you.” He recites to her the exact words she had cried to him as she hugged him. “I don’t get you, Clarke.”

She leans her body into her apartment door, seeking refuge on the other side. Cursing Lexa’s bad timing, and her own awful decision making. Wishing she could rewind time.

“I did feel that way Bell, but then she reached out, and apolog-” She doesn’t know how to explain it to him, but it doesn’t seem to matter because he’s cutting her off.

“And you run when Lexa calls right?” He angrily laughs loudly, backing away from her, looking around in disbelief.

“Bell, it’s not what you think. It’s not like that. We were just talking. She knows that you and I are together. She knows that.” Clarke tries to explain, crossing her arms over her chest.

Bellamy’s brown eyes meet hers as he pulls the beanie off his head, reveling a head full of disheveled hair. “Ha!” He barks, “Yeah I’m sure she just loves that!” His voice getting louder and louder, his expression showing his disbelief.

Clarke stays quiet knowing that anything she says now will just make him even angrier. He paces in front of her in silence for a few moments, his eyes not meeting hers once.

“I-“ He stumbles for his words, “I fucking knew it. I fucking knew this was going to happen again.” His voice echo’s, bouncing around her like they are taking on a life of their own.

“Nothing happened Bell!” She defends herself, but he doesn’t look at her and that’s okay because they both sort of know that’s a lie. Because they both know even though nothing physically happened, the connection that Lexa and Clarke share is almost worse than something physically happening, the emotional side of it hurts more than the physical.

“I trusted you, Clarke!” He growls back at her, “You told me it was over. She had cheated and that was the final straw!” He throws the words at her, disgust dripping from his lips. “We- you and I have been happy! And the second, the fucking second she decided that she has time for you again you go running to her! As if the past five years never happened, as if she had never hurt you!” She squeezes her eyes shut because she knows he’s right, “And you sure as hell didn’t think of me! Not for one fucking second did you think of me because if you had you would’ve realized how fucked up picking up a relationship with her again is!”

She doesn’t want to cry, she doesn’t like to cry, she doesn’t like people to see her cry but she’s always been able to cry around him. He is her home, the place she goes to cry but it stings knowing that she’s crying because of his anger and hurt.

“You told me you weren’t fucking around this time. You said you were serious!” He yells, his glare fueled by hurt and anger.

“Don’t yell at me.” She says quietly but strongly, it's really just a plea to him to stop making her feel like an awful person, because if anyone can make her feel like an awful person its Bellamy Blake.  

She imagines the kids down the hall being awoken by his loud angry voice. Imagines Mrs. Jenkins pausing her show so that she is able to listen to their fighting more clearly.  She imagines her mother and Kane behind the apartment door, debating on coming out into the hall or letting them fight it out.

“You don’t want me to fucking yell?” He questions her, “Are you telling me you wouldn’t yell if you found out I had been talking to Raven behind your back? That you wouldn’t be fucking upset, because the Clarke I know would be furious and burning fucking buildings down, and you’re telling me to not fucking yell?”

“We were just talking, nothing more. Nothing happened.” She tells him.

His glare is paralyzing, “It’s never just nothing when it comes to Lexa.” He’s right, _Clarke and Lexa are never just nothing, and we are always something. Trouble that’s what,_ Clarke thinks.  

“I care about you Bell. I would never want to do anything that would jeopardize our relationship. I know I told you that I was never going to talk to her again, but I needed closure. I needed to know it was over.” Clarke cries back.

“You needed to know if your feelings for her were stronger than your feelings for me. If your feelings for me are still enough to fight those feelings that you still have for her.” His face stays even, almost emotionless if it wasn’t for his eyes.

She wipes the tears from her face, trying to pull herself together.

“You are making this a bigger deal than it is Bellamy.” She jumps when the beanie he had curled into his fist hits the wall beside her.

“Enough Clarke!” He growls, her name echoing down the hall, “People get hurt when they are around you. I knew that, hell I've been pulled around by you for years, and we always end up here! But I've always been so in love with you, I am so in love with you that I believed you when you said you needed me!” His face is no longer emotionless, now it's just filled with anger, and he tries to let it paint his face to cover his hurt, but his eyes deceive him.

“I did need you- I still need you! I didn’t mean to hurt you Bell!” She knows that her words are not enough, she knows that her tears are not enough.

“God damn it, Clarke. I let you do it to me again, I let you do this to us again. You’ve left me for her before I don’t know why I thought, this time, would be different!” The fists at his side shake, and she and she can see the tears that now fill his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” She bites her lip, “I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done to you, and your right- I have a history with her and I haven’t been able to let it go but Bellamy-“She hesitates, her heartbeat fills her ears. “I love you, Bellamy.”

His eyes lift from the ground to meet hers, and she can feel her chest rip in half. He takes a deep breath, his entire body losing any feeling it had before, exhaustion taking over, filling his lungs.

“What do you want me to say, Clarke?” His voice comes out rough, his shoulders barely shrugging.

He wants to say it back, he truly does. Every bone in his body wants him to tell her how much he loves her, how if she would let him he would love her every day for the rest of his life. He would take her into his arms and worship her, he would tell her she was his soulmate, and that her sunshine hair showed him how she was an angel sent to him. But, he had done that before and she had still left him. He knows that no matter what he says and no matter how much he fights or how hard he cries it will not change her feelings, and it won’t change their timing. Because their love never comes at the right time, neither of them are truly ready for it.

“I thought our time had finally come.” His voice breaks a little, “But I guess I was wrong again, you need to figure out what you want.” Running a hand over his face, “I’ll always love you, Clarke. I always have but at some point, we have to stop this because I’m pretty sure it’s killing us both.”

She steps forward towards him, reaching for his hand, and he lets her take it. Let her soft hands engulf his. He grips her hand back for dear life, and for one moment the look in his eyes make her believe that he will stay with her. The love and warmth that fill his brown eyes make her remember how in the worst of times she can find her home there, and she longs for him to wrap his arms around her and hold him, for him to forgive her for everything she had done, for him to release her from the hell she was finding herself in.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice drips with hurt, with pain. Pressing her lips to his knuckles she prays that he can understand how she’s feeling.

His beautiful brown eyes meet hers, and he gazes at her face as though he is seeing it for the first time. However, slowly he pulls his hand out of hers, instead of gripping onto him tighter she lets his hand drop, leaving her cold.

At the end of the hall, he turns around, and the tears that fall down his face make her feel as though she has been shot in the chest. “I’m sorry too Princess.”

The sounds of the door slamming shut vibrate through the building making her bones rattle. She flinches as her knees scrap the harsh shag carpet and her vision blurs. There, sitting where Bellamy had been standing just moments ago is her phone that she had left abandoned during the argument. Lexa’s name flashing on the screen with an incoming call.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I know this was not a happy story and it was very angsty but here's the deal- I have seen a lot of nasty things written about these beloved characters, and I always try to remember that these characters are human beings, and they are allowed to make mistakes- they are allowed to not understand how they feel. So, here I am with an AU story about how Clarke always leaves Bellamy for Lexa, and he has always just accepted that, but sometimes you have to be the one that leaves. 
> 
> Okay, hope you all enjoy this heartbreak.


End file.
